When Student Life Becomes a Reality Show

Jan 16
4 min read

Student life is increasingly treated like a performance—where speed is rewarded, comparison is constant, and direction is rarely questioned. Through a simple metaphor of two children running, this article highlights how coaching culture, parental anxiety, and exam pressure can trap students into believing that failure is identity. The core message is clear: speed is not the problem—running in the wrong direction is.

Every year in India, thousands of students die by suicide - not because they lack ability or effort, but because they are pushed to run fast on paths that were never meant for them, where speed is praised, direction is ignored, and there is no safe way to step off.

This is not about bad children. This is not about weak minds. This is about running very fast in the wrong direction.

A Simple Story: Speed and Direction

Imagine two children running.One runs very fast.The other runs slowly.

Everyone claps for the fast one.

After some time, it becomes clear that the fast child is running in circles, while the slower child is moving steadily toward home.

Speed is how fast you move. Direction is where you are going.

In life, and especially in careers, direction matters more than speed.

How We Teach Children to Run Fast

From an early age, children are taught to:

Start early
Study longer
Join coaching quickly
Finish the syllabus faster
Compete constantly

The unspoken rule becomes:“If you slow down, you will fall behind.”

What is rarely asked is:

Is this the right path for this child?
Does this child belong on this road?
What happens if this road ends?

The Coaching Race

Coaching centres work like race tracks.

They encourage students to:

Run faster
Practice more
Sacrifice now for future rewards

For some students, this works.

For many others:

The pressure feels unbearable
The pace feels unnatural
The path feels wrong

The problem is not coaching itself.

The problem is that every child is pushed onto the same road, even though their abilities, temperaments, and limits are different.

When Running Becomes a Trap

At first, students feel tired.Then they feel afraid.Then they feel ashamed.

They begin to believe:

“If I fail, I am useless.”
“There is only one way to succeed.”
“If I stop, I disappoint everyone.”

At this stage, an exam stops being an exam.It becomes identity.

When identity collapses, students do not see options. They see walls.

Parents Mean Well, but Fear Pushes Them

Most parents act out of love, not cruelty.

Their fear comes from:

Uncertain job markets
Social comparison
Anxiety about their child’s future

So speed becomes the solution:

Finish quickly
Do not waste time
Others are already ahead

What many parents do not realise is this:“A child can recover from delay. A child struggles to recover from feeling trapped.”

Slowness is not the enemy. Wrong direction is.

Walking With Direction

Some students move slowly.They explore.They question.They try different paths.

They are often labelled as:

Confused
Lazy
Unfocused

But these students understand something important:“I need to know where I am going before I start running.”

They may arrive later. But when they do, they arrive stronger, calmer, and more certain.

Why Direction Creates Safety

When students know:

What they are naturally good at
That there are many ways to succeed
That one failure does not end their life

They become steadier.

Failure becomes feedback. Not a verdict.

Direction gives what speed never can: Hope.

Rethinking Success

Success is often misunderstood as:

Clearing an exam at any cost
Beating others
Surviving pressure silently

True success is built on:

Choosing the right path
Building skills step by step
Having the courage to change direction

Most fulfilled adults were not the fastest runners.They were careful choosers.

The Lesson

Running fast is not wrong.Running without knowing where you are going is.

Before asking a child to run faster, we must first ask:“Is this the right road?”

Because a career is not a race to survive.It is a journey to grow.

And when learning turns into constant performance, comparison, judgement, and elimination, something precious is lost.

That is what happenswhen student life becomes a reality show. No child should feel trapped in a single road

Key Takeaways

Student suicides are driven by pressure and entrapment, not lack of ability: Many students are pushed into paths that do not fit them, with no safe way to step off.
Speed is celebrated, but direction is ignored: Moving fast without clarity creates exhaustion, fear, and eventually shame.
Coaching works for some, but harms many when applied as a one-size-fits-all road: Different temperaments and limits require different learning paths.
When exams become identity, failure becomes a wall: Students stop seeing options and begin to see only judgement and dead-ends.
Parents often push out of fear, not cruelty: A child can recover from delay, but struggles to recover from feeling trapped.
Direction creates safety and hope: Knowing there are multiple routes to success helps students treat failure as feedback, not a verdict.

Curator's Note

This piece holds up a mirror to the way speed is celebrated in student life—often without asking whether the direction is right. Through simple storytelling and sharp clarity, Tamilselvan reminds us that pressure does not only create competition, it can also create collapse. A necessary reflection on why foundations are not built through performance, but through safety, choice, and hope.